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Natalie Caine
Empty Nest Support Services - The Founder

Since 1982, Natalie creates and facilitates women support groups in the areas of life changes, including dating, careers, marriage, divorce, parenting, illness, loss, and dreams coming true.

Have you

Have you, empty nesters, thought about how people begin again?

Well, the sweeties are back to school or almost there and you turn to NOW WHAT?

Patricia called and asked me what have you heard people are doing to find their new passions?

First, I want to share that some people like to leap to stay busy and others want to sit and reflect for awhile. There is no rule. What is true is exploring who you are and who you aren't. You need to accept you will make choices you don't like…some call that mistakes. Who doesn't make mistakes?

Good news.

Grieving is normal when you hug someone you love goodbye. Your tears are a deeper flood because you know the role you have played for years is shifting. No choice here.

Make time to listen inside to your wise one.

What am I feeling and what am I thinking about right now? Ask yourself throughout the day and evening. What support do I need? Go ahead and ask for help. You would help someone.

Pick something that does make you feel uplifted. On the telephone, Karen and I explored NOW WHAT and she got clear that she wanted to take that question day to day. She liked the idea of making cards at home for people so she could feel creative but not have to answer to anyone on their schedule right now.

Remind yourself you might be the person who adds a smile in a room and THAT IS FANTASTIC. Spreading positive energy matters as much as the one who saves the whales.

Keep paper and pen by your bedside and before you leave your bed, write down anything you remember from your night dream. Sometimes I think I can't remember the dream. Once I pick up the pen and write something, that triggers the memory. I have been journaling and keeping track of my dreams since the 70's because it is easy, teachable moment for me, and fun. My daughter and I still share night dreams on the telephone.

Melissa called today, a client I adore, who taught me, as I taught her, and she said, “I am feeling so much better, but boy those first weeks of not having my daughter at home were beyond what I ever thought would come up for me in an empty nest. I hope those feelings don't return, too much crying and lack of energy.” We had a wonderful catch up time on the phone and I passed to her….if the feelings return, good news is, YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH IT BEFORE AND NOW YOU KNOW YOU WILL BE OK AFTER THE TEARS FALL.

Sometimes the anxiety of not being ok is worse than WHAT IS, feelings not monsters. Who wouldn't be sad not seeing someone you care so much about and on top of sadness, feeling older, uncertain about your next step in life, let alone past losses that may emerge because you are humanly feeling vulnerable.

Take very good care by treating yourself well and staying connected.

Natalie

Featured in Time Magazine, Lifetime Radio for Women, Washington Post, Better Homes and Garden, radio, and more.



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