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Natalie Caine
Empty Nest Support Services - The Founder

Since 1982, Natalie creates and facilitates women support groups in the areas of life changes, including dating, careers, marriage, divorce, parenting, illness, loss, and dreams coming true.

Back to school and your nest is empty

I just want to remind you, love wins every day.

I remember one freshman day, I had the “want me's.” So I called my daughter, “I know I am being a pest today trying to reach you and you are busy. I am fine. I just want to hear your voice or get a text, so could you give it to me. I am having a tantrum here on the office floor because I miss you. Can't you stop me with an email or instant message or call? I think you can. I think you can. Just do it. Then you will be done with me, for now.

She left a voice message, laughing because she knows my humor. I got up off the floor . I was fine. I needed that love and I asked for it. Who wouldn't have the want me's when you love and miss someone?

Do you know the book and song by Robert Munch, “I'll love you forever; I'll love you for always; as long as you're living my baby you'll be?”

I still sing it to my daughter, Rachael. She is in her 20's. Actually, I don't know if I have the songwriter/author correct but I do have the melody and words freshly in my mind. I have been singing it to her since pre-school.

Love your children no matter if they are heading up the road to adulthood. They need your love. They love knowing you have their back no matter what.

At this cycle of change, it doesn't mean..ok see ya. I will step away and not connect unless you want me to. I will not be a helicopter parent. You have wings now, so fly.

It means the love is not lead in the same as your past role with your children. A new dance that includes stepping on each other's toes is on the floor now. Not that we haven't crushed each other before, but the surroundings and inner and outer dialogue has definitely changed.

You know this and this is part of why the tears fall. They fall whether you like it or not. Go ahead and cry. They won't freak or they might, as I know my daughter doesn't like when she sees me cry, but it doesn't destroy her. My tears never made her want to care-take me or change her mind about the direction she needed to drive.

I just want to remind you, love wins every day.

Get some love. Give some love. Rest and then reach for your wish list.

Take very good care of yourselves,

Natalie


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